You

For a long time, I never express how grateful I am to have you peeps around. I think I ought to show the least of my appreciation. So, this goes out to you... who are you? If the words touched your heart, then, it's you.

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
Listen close for I'm not smart:
You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul, you loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went weak; you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much, I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like much, but I'm yours

Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

Much to my chagrin I found myself struggling while watching an episode of of Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? I fell upon the show by process of elimination while trying to find something to watch that would peak my interest and well, after a few wrong questions it didn't as much peak my interest as peak my curiosity. Was I smarter then a 5th grader?After watching a few *test rounds* I found myself both wanting to know the answer to that question yet afraid that the answer would be a resounding no.

Okay...I guess I need to be honest and let you know I barely passed Geography and while I did very well in English I just about tanked Math. Was this a reality? Was I really unable to keep up with 5th grade material? How...well....pathetic. Something inside of me forced myself to keep on playing , what I had by now deemed, a silly game even though I wanted desperately to change the channel. It was like watching Janet Leigh in Psycho where you know she's going to get stabbed in the shower and you want to look away but you just can't. Except this was far more terrifying. Here, I was losing my mind. And all because of a 5th grader.

I thought if I had to be subjected to my own, well, intelligence for lack of a better word then you would be too. Here are a few questions (answered when you click on the link) to try out your 5th grade I.Q. Ready?

1) What is a hyperbole?

2) Is the equator a line of Latitude or Longitude?

3) What is a mixed number?

4) What are the three branches of the United States Government?

5) Is He's as strong as an Ox a simile or a metaphor?

Okay so these are but 5 examples of what a 5th grader should know.......do you know the answers? If not don't feel bad - most people (and this is probably a travesty) don't. I must be part of the travesty as I didn't get all 5 questions right either.

Des Possibilités Infinies | 無限の可能性

... It says: Infinite Possibilities.

I’ve never been one to dismiss something simply because I can’t see it. This isn't necessarily a faith; it's a fascination with questioning what is and what may be. It's the wonderment that goes along with thinking about all the infinite possibilities of what could potentially exist. I would spend countless hours discussing all the endless options with my dad. He would ask, "What if there's another Earth, exactly like this one, where an identical you, and an identical me, live?"

I used to listen in awe, nodding my head fervently at all the fantastic notions. Just as my dad does, I've always believed in, and hoped for, something bigger – something grander than what we can physically see. Though there's no tangible proof, I've always had a hunch that we’re not alone in space. In my opinion, how could we be? In a way, I feel it’s naive and narrow-minded to assume that we are all there is; that in all of infinite space and time, we are the only living, breathing beings in existence.

Last night I am watched a mind-boggling show on the History Channel about parallel universes. It reminded me so much of those kitchen table talks with my dad. The scientists discussed many of the same "what if's" that Dad and I always do, only they offered rationale and explained the research methods that might actually prove some of these seemingly far-fetched hypotheses one day.


I tried to take notes while I was watching so I could share some of the most intriguing highlights with you, but it was so complicated that I definitely didn't catch everything. But here's some of the stuff I did: they think that parallel universes might really be possible. There are different levels of these universes; perhaps one, an exact replica of our own solar system, with a like Earth and beings that identically resemble us living there, but it's so far out in space we can't see it or even begin to realize it exists.

But the most baffling to me was that they may exist right here, in our own space and time. So, essentially, multiple parallel universes may exist simultaneously, but in different dimensions that we cannot see. As the show was saying, at this very moment, all around you in different dimensions (think of many pieces of paper stacked closely together, and the space between each paper is a dimension - those in that dimension believe their reality is the one and only, and don't know another reality exists right next to them...) are infinite realities all playing out at the same time. You could potentially live out every possibility that could ever exist for you (though, you wouldn't know it, because we're not aware of these parallel realities).

Even more astonishing is the idea that in one dimension, perhaps dinosaurs never became extinct. And in the next dimension, the World War never happened, while another deadly war did. And because these dimensions exist so close together, all these various realities are not only playing out at the same time, but they're happening in the same space - in YOUR space! As an example, they showed a guy sitting in his living room watching TV, oblivious to the fact that mere millimeters from him, in a different dimension he couldn't see, a dinosaur was roaming freely. Wild, isn't it?

If all this is true, maybe there are more of us that live in a parallel universe - maybe in another dimension, yet right next to me, sharing the same space, or in another like Earth with exact replicas of us? And since all options get played out, in one of these parallel universes, I maybe a criminal, or maybe instead of music, I'm passionate about politics. Or perhaps I don't even exist at all!

Scientists are searching for tangible proof that parallel universes exist. That's part of the reason they're colliding particles. (i.e. CERN). But should we be finding these parallel universes? What are the implications? Or, as the show explained, maybe it's imperative we find them, and learn how to transport ourselves there, so we can eventually save humanity, when the Earth is no longer a hospitable (or existing) place to live.

I don't know what to think. But I do believe that it is logical to ask something like: What if the whole world exists on the head of a pin? And we're really tiny creatures, smaller than ants, and we only think we're so big and powerful? What if the planet Earth is just another tiny cell of a living being in another universe?

Look beyond the odds, and you'll find that everything is, if not all, logical.

Who knows what “real” reality is, but it's certainly fun and exhilarating to think about.

What are your thoughts?



Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you used today. Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. After all, dreaming or imagining or whatever you call it, is a form of planning. What to do? It's part of us.

Random Post

Did nothing much today... none other than revisions.
I took some stupid photos tho... Here it is... Pictures for the day...

I was pondering...

Mr.E and Mr.Charles fully cooperated with me in taking this photo...

The End!

Come on, I can't think of anything to post right now. Maybe tomorrow!

Cheerio.

100 Pieces of Me

Inspired by Cheryl =)
*Deep Breaths*

1. My name, Bowie, was named after the famous English artist, David Bowie.
2. I was borned on 26th of October, year 1987. 26th Oct is the 299th (or 300th in leap years) day of the year in Gregorian Calendar.
   
3. I was borned and raised in Penang.
   
4. My dad was a big fan of David Bowie back in the 70s to 80s.
5. However, I'm not a fan of David Bowie though, not even a bit.
6. When I was 3, I was able to recognize every car's name and model (cars that were available that time being).
7. The real reason why I'm interested in piano is not because I loved piano from the very beginning, but it was my mum and my aunt's advise.
   
8. My aunt said:" Bowie just look at your fingers, they are so slim. You could put some good use on'em if you are to play piano. " I was then attracted to piano.
9. I have a younger brother named Bolie, his name rhymes after mine.
   
10. I have my dad's smile, while my younger brother has my mum's.
11. My mum and dad used to be my best playmates before my mum gave birth to my younger brother.
    
12. I was insanely jealous when my mum and dad needed some *ahem* privacy because I feared that I might be lonely and no one would play with me.
13. I refused to leave my mum's side for the better part of my childhood.
14. My dad raised my interest in English songs and other related stuffs.
15. He failed to raise my interest in tennis though. But he did raised my younger brother's.
16. I always feel glad because my dad trained my fluency in English language while he sent me to Chinese school, just to make sure I possess good commands of English and Chinese languages, which turns out I am.
17. I still think about the friends I made when I was attending primary school.
18. I had my first crush in primary school. Her name is Lee Cheng Cheng.
19. I saw her at a tuition class when I was in secondary school. Turns out I still have a crush on her on that particular moment.
    
20. I got into the secondary school that I never wanted to attend. How so, it was then I met the best friends of my life.
21. I can always recall how I got to know my best buddy, Jerwin. Who is also my duet partner.
    
22. I met him on a night when I was helping my dad for car wash. He was walking pass right in front of my house and I greeted him. He was my classmate but that's when I got to know his name and knowing that he actually lived on the same street with me!
23. He raised my interest in guitar when we were in form 3.
24. We used to sing and play guitar in front of his house every evening.
25. I got my first guitar when I was form 3, too.
26. I learned how to play guitar by applying the concepts of piano on it, it worked!
    
27. I had my first fight when I was in form 2, I forgot how it started. The person I was fighting with was Khor Y Chun. We ended up shaking hands to each other and "dude, u okay?" because it was about time to attend Science class and we have to go to the lab.
    
28. That was when I got to realize the meaning of the chinese saying "不打不相识" (You never fight, you'll never know).
29. I met my first girlfriend when I was 18. Her name is Rachel Lydia Low. She was part of my sweetest memories.
30. I was attracted to her pinky cheeks, well, face too.
    
31. We used to love Baskin Robbins so much as BR represents Bowie and Rachel, and we loved its ice creams.
32. My love for Baskin Robbins's ice cream remained still.
33. Life was perfect, when she brought out the best of me. I miss it.
34. I used to sing 'You Are My Sunshine' with her, she was my best duet partner and that song was our best performance.
    
35. I love giving advice. I'm great at it, too. It's like a magic trick I don't know the secret behind, the answers just come to me.
36. I can only do this with others. When it comes to me, I'm clueless, well, most of the time.
37. So far rejection doesn't really bother me. I know I'll get there eventually.
38. I'm very competitive with myself.
39. I was a valedictorian.
    
40. I worry constantly about things I have no control over.
41. I'm afraid of commitment, yet I never let this fear stand in my way.
    
42. My grandparents used to tell me what things are gonna be like in my future, now it seems that they were right.
43. Even though it seems like I have a million friends, I only feel close to and comfortable with VERY few people.
44. I've been in a relationship twice, but in love only once.
45. I believe my soulmate is somewhere out there holding one end of an invisible string. I am holding the other.
46. I'm very attracted to girls who are aware of themselves and that don't pretend.
47. In fact, I'm fond of people who don't pretend.
    
48. I find solace in knowing there is a purpose.
49. I used to be jealous of people with lots of close best friends. Now I realize I'm the lucky one with my special few
50. My family means everything to me. I would do anything and go anywhere for them.
51. I hate mathematics so much that I sworn to myself that I will never get my hands on calculations after secondary school, ever!
    
52. Yet, I'm in my sophomore year of university, taking up engineering course.
53. My degree is in Engineering.
    
54. There's not a day that passes I don't think about home.
55. If you ask me how you look, I'll sincerely tell you how I think.
56. I'm romantic and passionate.
    
57. I hate to shop.
    
58. But I love to buy.
59. I love being the centre of attention.
60. I hate board games and cards.
61. I'll play them occasionally though.
62. I've never been to Middle-East.
    
63. I used to be very gullible to a fault.
64. I love to win.
    
65. But I hate to see others lose.
66. I love to sing.
67. I love movies.
68. I love good foods.
    
69. I love to speak in front of huge audiences.
70. I trust my judgement, but accept other people's comments if I have to.
    
71. Sometimes, things I dream about come true.
72. Weather permitting, I love to sleep outside under the stars -- NO TENT.
73. I love to sleep on the beach, too.
74. I do love beach.
75. I love roller coasters where the thrill is the speed.
76. When I read before bed, I pretty much fall asleep.
77. I was shocked in the sophomore of my diploma, when a not-quite-popular girl in my class stood up and said 'I want to be popular'. I always thought the idea was to rise up and kill the popular kids. Does a Jew want to be a Nazi?
    
78. I can type like a speed demon.
79. I seriously enjoy coffee.
80. I like the taste of alcohol, but I don't enjoy being drunk, and I really dislike the alcohol universe.
81. I'm non-smoker.
82. I've always believed in the existense of ghosts and UFOs.
83. I believe that the Moon was invented by human beings back in previous civilizations, like Pyramids. It ain't just float there for no reason at all.
    
84. I like to sing while I'm driving, of course, if, I'm alone in the car.
85. I love to play Final Fantasy's piano soundtrack, Memory of Lightwaves with piano.
86. I love to play and sing Alicia Key's No One with guitar.
    
87. My top value is freedom.
88. I'm spiritual, but not religious.
    
89. I believe that movies like The Matrix and I Am Legend are somehow reflecting what kind of future that we will face, in no time.
    
90. For me, the 9/11 spectacle was like a near-death experience. It made me loosen up, live for the moment, take more chances, because I could die any time. I don't understand why it had the opposite effects on everyone else.
91. I prefer something that is hidden than something that is obvious.
92. I am a true Scorpio.
93. I got close to death once; it changed my entire perception of life.
    
94. I always wanted to travel across the globe on foot, with a group of friends, after civilization collapses.
95. I have been toying with the idea of going to some unknown and disconnected place and living there for a few months in the midst of nature. Too impractical right now though.
    
96. I am moody, over-sensitive, obsessive, controlling, selfish, arrogant, stubborn, lazy and self-indulgent.
97. I am ALSO kind, smart, funny, imaginative, empathetic, practical, creative, loving, conscientious, and optimistic.
98. I believe it takes a long time to know a person. So this list is insufficient for you to know me. Anyhow I hope you aren't falling asleep reading this.
    
99. I just wanna be myself.
100. And I found that it's not easy to come out with 100 pieces of me in words!

*EXHALE*
Cheerio!
Fetching comments =D

By the way, I tagged a few people as well tho... =P
They will need to come out with a list of 100 pieces of them as well... Your official name won't be shown here tho, but, know thyself! :
- Choo Xuan Xuan
- Len Len
- Lizard
- RG
- King Stewie
- Jerwin
- Debbie de Unique

*curtain falls*

I miss you, and I'm moving on.

It was a plain day and it was Vivian's birthday, again we went for a movie and buffet at Seoul Garden. We watched Madagascar II... Hilarious... a must-watch. I loved that movie... both the first and the second's.

We went to Jonker Walk as well... I bought this... but with me and her name written there... I don't know why...

Standing by the stall, my emotions were utter overloaded...
I flashed myself back to where everything used to be like...
It's not a de ja vu... I've been there...
We were at the stall...
We bought something together...
Something that looked exactly like what I'm showing you now...
I threw the last one away...
Now I know that it wasn't necessary for me to do so, by throwing it away...
I get a new one instead. Just to keep it.


Our memories remained intact.
We can never erase it.
It was beautiful.

I miss you, but I'm moving on.
<3

She combed your hair, she kissed your teeth, she made you better than you've been before,
She told you bad things, that you wished you could change, in the lazy summer...
She told you laughter, down to her core, so she would not cry, as she lay in your lap, she said:
No one in here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer...

A YEAR

... and so it has been, a year.

One year since my world erupted.

One year since I began.

One year since I decided safe inaction was far more painful than a frightening leap; that authenticity rings truer than make-believe integrity and character masquerade.

One year since I realized I matter.

It's been a year. I'm wiser, yet foolish. I'm happier, yet forlorn. I'm stronger, yet delicate.

For one year I've done it on my own. And that has made all the difference.

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Random Thoughts

I've been thinking and decided to share. Enjoy!

Have you ever thought you saw someone and then realized as you got closer or put your glasses on that it wasn't him or her? Then, in that very same day, you actually see that person? This happens to me all of the time! A few weeks ago, I was at the gym and thought I saw a lady I used to walk for and sure enough, it wasn't her. Then, later that day, I saw her walking her dogs. It's almost like my 6th sense kicked in. Strange.

Karma. Do you believe in it? I do. I make it very well known that I do. I spend my life trying to make sure I'm creating good karma and only entering situations that produce good karma. I've known too many people who haven't a clue (tho they'd like to think they do!) who think they have great karma and then I watch karma takes it course with them. Eek.

Am I too old to be walking around with my Walkman phone in my pocket listening to Pop music stations? I wondered this as I walked home from the grocery this morning with Lady GaGa's "Just Dance" blaring. The song makes me think of visiting Cheryl in Massachusetts. Anyway, I loved it.

Does time seem to go faster and faster every year? I can't believe it's already the middle of November! Every time I looked back, time seems to have sped up and I can't slow it down to save my life. Perhaps I'm having too much fun? I think I'm ok with that.

Cheerio.

He was honest with Her

He had chosen the right spot to sit. He had made sure of that. She sat on the stool, fidgeting, looking down at her coke.
He sat back with one foot on the table, his cigarettes in front of him, swilling his pint, as he always did. Over her shoulder the TV was showing ESPN. Not that he cared about the game, it was Chelsea against Arsenal. A lesser of two evils game, in which he would narrowly side with Arsenal, but the real point was to have an excuse to look away if he felt uncomfortable, to pretend to be so mesmerized by the game he had lost track of the conversation.

He was out of his depth and he knew it. He had told her, told her how he felt and he wasn't sure who was most uneasy. Her, at the moment, he figured. But nothing had changed and that was the most important part, that everything still seemed hunky dory, that she was carrying on as if he hadn't said those three words.

And right now 'OK' was good enough for him, neither a rejection nor a requital. Just a guarantee that nothing was ruined.

He'd had a few already which was why he was able to talk in this vein. Sweet talking was for customers. You just don't say these things when you actually mean them. Too dangerous. You let these cats out of the bag and they might drag you to Hell.

He took a swig of his beer and decided to broach the topic again.

HIM: To be honest, it's probably better this way. It took many months and much alcohol to get me to say what I did, I think if you'd had anything more to say than you did, it would have been way too much for me to deal with. I suspect I'd have freaked out totally.

HER: I know.

HIM: As it stands, things are pretty much ideal, it's not like it actually affects the here and now. We could carry on, conceivably for ever like this, I don't see why not. In many ways, I quite like it like this. I'm never going to lose you from my life and I guess that's what really matters. At this stage, I'm not sure I could deal with more than that. At one level I want it, but I'm not sure I've quite got my head round the implications of what it is I want.

HER: Well, it may fade by then.

He smiled a sad smile and drained his glass. He shook his head and mouthed 'no' before heading to the bar. He flirted shamelessly with the barmaid, for no particular reason except he didn't know how not to.

HIM: You needn't worry. I'm certainly not going to try influence you. This actually isn't something I want to sell. I spend too much time selling stuff and when it comes to women, I usually end up wishing they hadn't bought the patter. If for whatever reason, you do one day decide you feel the same way, I want you to actually feel it, not just think it was a good idea to try, or feel some kind of obligation that I was trying so hard you should at least give it a go. Giving it a go is always smite. Never works. Done it, been through it, giving it a go. It's actually ten times worse to be loved by someone you just can't love than it is to love and not be loved back.

HER: I wouldn't know.

HIM: Well, I just feel that in this case, if this really IS my ideal of perfection, then it really shouldn't be forced. Besides, as things stand, I'm not sure if I could deal with you reciprocating my sentiments. I'd probably need a month or two to get my head round it.
My guess is IF you ever decide you reciprocate my sentiments it would be far enough in the future for me to be comfortable with that.

HER: So right now, its just me being uncomfortable.

HIM: Yes, but you certainly have the chance to return the favour. I guess if it ever happened, you'd be comfortable by then- and you'd get to make me uncomfortable.

HER: It would also be a completely hopeless situation.

HIM: I had thought of that, don't worry. I mean, I suppose the point is, that we'd cross that bridge when and if we came to it. Even if we ever got to that bridge it would be stupid to start making unrealistic plans. You have your career, I have mine. You would never leave your home town, I would never leave mine. I want children one day (I think), you don't. These things aren't strictly speaking reconcilable. But I don't see any point worrying about any of that at this point, and in fact, I would say that if we reached the bridge just mentioned, then there would STILL be no point worrying about those things. That's where everyone goes wrong.

HER: So what WOULD you suggest in such a situation?

HIM: Nothing. Nothing at all. Go with the flow. I mean, whatever happened we'd have to spend weekdays working- in totally different geographical locations, and that would never change. But we could spend weekends together. I guess I might even feel OK giving you a key to the flat.

HER: That's what you envisage, is it?

HIM: Yes, pretty much. It would be the best way forward until one of two things happened.

HER: Being?

HIM: You got bored, or one or other of us found it unsatisfactory and wanted more. And if that happened, we'd deal with that then. But that is so hypothetical I don't see any point worrying about it. After all, even allowing for things getting to that level, even if everything followed the course I've just described, we are talking years away now, I guess.

(Pause)

Are you Ok with everything I've just said? As I say, I don't think we need worry about any of it now. All of it is up to you, really. I'm easy with whatever you're easy with. Whatever happens, let it just evolve naturally. Sod rules. To me, this is too important for me to give a damn about someone else's rules. One step at a time, eh? With you in the driving seat. It's up to you what you want to take up, or if you want to take up anything at all. And don't forget, all this stuff scares the shit out of me too. You Ok with that? With everything I've just said?

HER: Ok.

HIM: And do you know whatever happens, whatever life choices you make, I want us to always be friends?

HER: Yes.

He smiled.

What more could he ask for?
What would be, would be. And whatever it was, would be for the best.

Step in his/her shoe and tell me what you think.

3 Papers Left

Had a rough day today... and a rough night for Thursday's, and a rough morning today.

I was awake for almost 24 hours just to rush for the today's paper. After my nap at 5pm on Thursday, I never stopped revising since. Well thanks to my laptop, 2AM, I logged into MSN and I couldn't stop typing ever since until it was like... 4AM! I was on the line with Yu Yu though. Thanks Yu Yu, it was the most difficult hour of the day and you were there, thanks anyway and anyhow xD However, Mr.Charles woke up at around 4 something to catch up with his revision...

I have to say that I'm not trying to make this paper sounded like a bombastic one's, but... This is definitely a above-average tough subject.

4AM and I went on with my revision until 6.30AM... Mr.E woke up... He walked outta the room and looked at me, 'wow... huh? walao eh...' then he went back to bed -_-||| I think he was trying to say 'walao eh you are still awake', something like that, LOL. 7AM, my sleepiness almost overcome me, without any hesitations, I walked into the room and asked Mr.E for a pack of Nescafe, LOL, since I don't have any coffee. Well it helped... until the last 30 minutes of the exam hour. 4 questions, the 1st question was okay... 2nd question... well kinda bumpy. 3rd question... Oh my holy drizzle-frizzle-nizzle-bizzle-seezle-jizzle-hazle-nut cow... 4th question... those transistors on the circuit looked like piles of bombs to me. Everyone has the same facial expression and reaction when they read the question paper...

After the answer sheets were collected... the first thing I did? Well I should say the first thing that me and Mr.Charles did, since he was sitting right in front of me, smiled to each other, not because it was easy, it was because:" I screwed the paper and I wasn't alone!" LOL. The moment of truth.
Quote on Jason Mraz's Details in the Fabric: You are like an island of reality on the ocean of dirrhea." LOL.


Anyways... I'm in the library now, doing nothing, none other than blogging. Ms.Vivian is having her exam now, while I'm surfing and blogging here, with Mr.Charles. Another 11 days till my next paper... until then, I need a break, I really...really... need a break.

Next 3 papers:
18th Nov - Technical Communication I
21st Nov - Digital System
22nd Nov - Electrical Circuits II

Cheerio to all of you beautiful people out there... Have a great weekend...!

Until then, au revoir.

Another Thursday

Nothing much to say today, working on tomorrow's paper.

Be back in no time.

All the best to those who are having final exams... and everyone that works their way through the day.

Make your day a full one though.
Don't leave your thoughts unspoken or work undone, time is flowing like it always does.

Cheerio.

The World Is a Better Place with a Darker President

The world has changed.

I don't think you yet realize it.

I'm saying this not as a Malaysian, but as a part of this world.

It has changed.

It may not be a big deal, but it is.

Ninety percent of Americans are white.
And in America the colour of a man's skin has mattered.
Hence American Presidents have been white.

But it's not just been about that.

Power. Power in the world.

To exercise power across the face of the globe, historically, the colour of your skin has had to be white.

Those have been the rules of the global society. You don't get to hold the most powerful positions on this planet, unless you're white.

And whilst that was so, Apartheid still lived. It may not have been open, but a division lay across the globe. Because the colour of the skin of those living the most luxuriant lives and the colour of the skin of those making decisions that really concern the globe, has been white.

And white folk, despite their condemnation of South Africa have not really meant what they said. Because the colour of a man's skin did matter. What they really meant was; black folk rule black countries, white folk rule white countries. We'll trust black people to rule over black people in third world countries, but really, when it comes to it, colour still matters.

Today it doesn't.

Today it has been proven that the colour of a man's skin does not matter a jot.

Because if the people of the most powerful country in the globe, a country ninety percent of whom are white, a country renowned for the conservatism of its attitudes can ignore the clour of a mans skin in deciding who would make the best man to have his finger on the button that potentially sends us all to our doom, it means that it really is true today that the average person on the globe really does not attach any significance to skin colour.

Racism is history.

Racism is a dead set of beliefs.

The best man won, in SPITE of the fact he was a black man asking a predominantly white electorate to choose him over a white man.

America has grown up.

Humanity is growing up.

The world is a different place today.

Now I returned myself to my being of a Malaysian, Malaysia is yet to grow up...
To be concluded?

We're ONLY HUMAN...

... You know what?

We all have our stuff to carry. We've all been through things we wouldn't wish upon another human being, friend or foe.

We don't get to choose what happens to us, or how it happens. All we choose is how we recuperate from it all.

How we pick our stuff together after being shot down, for another, countless time, and move on.

How we brush the dust off our clothes, sweep the hair off our dirty faces, check for new bruises and sore limbs and continue walking.


Time heals all wounds - they say. I don't believe that. I believe time heals nothing, but it gives us a distance to our own problems and lets us deal with them. We can either try and pick the lessons out of the heap of rubble that fell over us and try to do something productive with it, not letting it consume us and keep us from living - or we can dwell over every little detail of the last defeat time and time again, until there's nothing else we can see but what had happened in the past.


We are all just humans. We bruise easily.


It's okay to go a little crazy every now and then.


I chose to wear my scars like badges, proud of the defeats as well as the wins. Bruising means you had tough competition. And you survived.

Put all the unresolved issues and worries in the mental waste bin, because tomorrow is going to happen, no matter how much you try to stop it. The moon will spin around us and we will spin around the sun and that is all there is to it.

And whatever is going to happen will happen. So why worry?

We'll cross that bridge when we get to it...

AND...

Because I'm ONLY HUMAN, I'll get bored too, I'm bored of my notes and revisions, so I stopped for a lil'while to blog myself away from all the numbers and figures. But I have to get back on track with my revision again... I can't stop time, the next paper is still going on tomorrow, I can't deny it's inevitability... Nor try to find the possibilities beneath the impossibilities... and after all... I'M ONLY HUMAN...

All the best to me.

Cheerio, peeps.

A Plain Morning

I'm up early today, to finish what I've started: revision. It was around 8am. It was a nice morning, not too hot, feeling warm, as the sunlight pours into my room... I took my phone and snapped this view, don't ask me why, because I'm asking the same question! I hope it certainly means something, like, a good start of the 1st of November '08! LOL.

ANYWAYS,
I have a busy week ahead... Here's my final exam's time table for next week:
Engineering Math on Monday, 0900
Statistics and Probability on Wednesday, 0900
Analogue Electronics on Friday, 0830

I won't be saying much for now... I really...really need to get myself on and off those notes and tutorials in no time, and of course, my calculator.

Until then, cheerio and toodles!

OH AND BY THE WAY, read some nice articles regarding Promises, Lies and Experiences.
Feel free to read it right here.

I'll be back in no time.

A Note From my Future Self

Some wished they'd taken more risks, others urge youngsters to just go ahead and use the good china, and there's a whole generation who I'm sure will anguish over the fact they spent more time with their handhelds and Treos than they did with their loved ones.

You always hear people say that if they had the knowledge then that they do now, they'd have done so many things differently.

Everyone has regrets.

We don't always admit to them, but even the most righteous of us have them. It's so easy to say "in retrospect, I would have done this" or "I would give anything to go back and do things this way, instead." So here's my question: If hindsight is 20/20, then why can't our present sight be just as clear?

Why does it take a lifetime of amassed disappointments and coulda, shoulda, wouldas to finally grasp the way we should be living, or rather, the way we should have lived?

Imagine for a minute what our lives would be like if we didn't waste any of our precious moments? If, rather than casting off our aspirations and desires for "someday", we made our wildest dreams happen now. What if we started living today the life that one day we'll undoubtedly wish we had?

When we reach the end of our long, twisted rope, what if all we had to say was, "With all its ups, downs and in betweens, that life was perfect just the way it was. No complaints! If I had it to live it over again, I'd do everything exactly the same."

That's my hope, but admittedly, if my life were to end tomorrow, I would regret; among many things, I would regret all the times I chose to scowl rather than smile, I would regret all the times I opted to let my ego lead me into self-important and prideful desolation, I would regret taking everything too seriously, I would regret making decisions based on other people's expectations, I would regret not listening to my inner compass and I would regret fearing adventure and holing up in the humdrum confines of the known.

I want to live my best life - the life I imagined - but how? How do I let go of fears, insecurities, addictions and comfy, soul-sucking monotony? By heeding the advice of my future self.

I can only imagine years down the line, to my current self, this is what I'd have to say:

Bowie,

Laugh more!

Really, Bowie, for such a seemingly happy person, you don't laugh enough. And I'm not talking about those performance giggles you fake around others, I mean the belly-aching eruption that starts in your toes and heartily convulses its way all the way up and out the tippy-top of your head. When you were a kid you found humor in everything; you loved laughing until you could no longer breathe, until the tears were streaming down your cheeks and your ribcage actually hurt from howling. Life is still funny, and it's okay to laugh. Even when things feel hard - whey they are hard - don't take anything so seriously that you become blind to humor. This I know for sure: Even at its shittiest, life is one giant comedy act and it's up to you to provide the laughtrack. God has a sense of humor...you can too.

Have fun!

Don't forget to enjoy yourself. Sure, study life, there's work to be done, deadlines to adhere to and exams to cope with, but there's also sunflowers to smell, wine to drink and occasions to celebrate. Don't get so caught up in the daily grind that you forget about daily joy. Remember this: You don't have to earn your right to enjoy life. Stop punishing yourself! You can be a hard-student and have fun too. Where did you ever get the notion it was one or the other? Ridiculous! Get out there and and live life - where do you think your guitars and pianos come from anyway? Certainly not within the boundaries of your living place!

You're worthy of love!

You don't have to work so hard to be loved. Here's a hint: You are already are loved. And what's more, you are loveable. Quit getting involved with girls who make you work for their adoration and respect; the girl who's right for you won't dangle her love in front of you like a toy, she won't use her love as a means of control and she certainly won't require you to constantly remind her why you're worthy of her affection.

Be good to you!

If you're not for yourself, who will be? Tell that inner critic of yours to shut up. Better yet, kill him. Or if you want, torture him first, then kill him. The point is, he's got to go.

Be spontaneous!

Every time you get off the beaten path and do something out of the ordinary, you feel your soul stir! So why are you still so afraid of spontaneity? You have a free-spirit in you, but you squash him. In order to bring you joy, he needs to be allowed to breathe and play. Let him! It's for your own good. It's when things don't go as planned that you love life most so at least once a week, ignore your to-do lists and simply drift; life will lead you where it will and I guarantee you'll enjoy the journey.

Most of all, when your life is ending and you're reminiscing about the past, it's not the checked off chores and tasks you'll yearn for and remember; it's the memories.

Don't forget to make some.

Tell people how you feel, quit playing mind games, and don't put off happiness. Today is the day.

With respect and unconditional love,
Bowie

What would your future self tell you?

What's love got to do with it anyway?

Someone asked me how you can be in a two year relationship without ever falling in love.

It’s simple, really. Very simple.

There are tons of reasons why people are in relationships that transcend love. Or never reach to the ankles of love, should I say. I’m not going to list them all, because that would be redundant and a complete waste of internet space (yes, that too can run out at some point).

When you care for someone, like them, see them as your best friend – it is easy to confuse that for long enough to get used to being together. I believe a lot of people stay together for the simple reason of being used to having someone to come home to.

For a lot, being with someone beats being alone. Never mind that someone might not be someone for them, someone they love. Or maybe then do.

But being comfortable and being used to being together is the main issue.

“Marriage of convenience”, one could say. I scratch your back, you’ll scratch mine. No man is an island and all that crap. Because when it boils down to it, everybody needs someone else at some point in time. May it be for emotional, physical or purely financial reasons. Tax cuts. Not sleeping alone. A hand to hold in public.

It’s easy to be together without being in love.

It’s easy to have a relationship without having love. Not all of us have to choose, but some do. And some choose just because they want to.

And trust me – where there’s no heart, there’s no complications. Or at least a hell lot less. Clean slates. No heart – no heart ache.

So yes, my longest relationship has been for two years. I really, really cared for her. My second longest relationship was almost a year. I was almost in love. Almost.

But no, I’ve never been in love.

It’s simpler that way. Less messy. Clean slates. Clean cuts.


…and I do like my life tidy.

I'd Do Anything

and it's all because of you... =)

Details in the fabric

Final exam is less than a week away, I'm yet to start my revision for it, might be a lil'bit too early for that... no I'm not worried... I'm feeling mellow... very...mellow... LOL. Was planning to go to the library and get myself some photocopies of final exam's questions... Nah, I'm too lazy. Maybe some other time within this week.

It's me alone in the apartment... Boon Boon is going back to his hometown soon together with Vivian... I'll be alone here for the rest of the week... oh and Mr. Liang stays at the hostel... Guess I should ask him to come and stay here for a couple of days... I'm not afraid, but I hate... to be alone. But being alone helps too, sometimes. Staying in the room... listening to my good old music... Makes me think through alot of stuffs... It seems to me that I have a lot of catching up to do...

I'm not asking for the time to stop... No, never. I'm not running from anything... I'm not avoiding anything... but I don't know why... I still think of the same thing in the middle of the night...sometimes. Sometimes I'm too busy to notice that the people around me needs love and caring like everyone does... I'm too busy to notice whether I offended them directly or indirectly... Too busy to notice my mistakes... too busy to apologize... and too busy to forgive either. This, is when I realized what I've been missing.

It's not like the ball game... where errors are classified into 2 categories: Forced errors and Unforced errors... I offended people accidentally? Not likely, because I think I'm right? I purposely forgot to apologize? Not likely, there are more important things in hand than just giving away a 'sorry' that takes less than 2 seconds? Well, you see... the balancing point is yet to show itself... It ain't black or white, it's grey.

All my thoughts are crossed like a fabric... a piles of fabric...
What happened to it's details?
Why are the things make me panic?
Are my thoughts the result of static cling? Or are the things that make me blow?
Or is it...just the faulty manufacturing of the fabric (thoughts)...?
It's something more than that... I can't replace it like a broken part, I can't brace it like an broken arm, but above all, if it's a broken heart, then face it.

Are you...the results of my faulty manufacturing? My thoughts got me back to 3 weeks ago... where she left without saying anything, at all. Her tone is ringing... Her friends are around... Her person is there... but none is there for me. I still wonder what I did wrong... Perhaps this is the only time I gave in most of my time to think through the somethings-wrong-but-what-it-is part. Did I do anything wrong... at all? All of these... brings me to somewhere... but I'm not mentally where I am physically... enough.

*sigh*
I close my eyes and I exhale and let the realization that the world is going on, like it should, all around me, stolid of whatever or wherever I am, just wash over me.
All I want is to go to bed and sleep. Just sleep. For once not thinking things through for a thousand time, just be, be satisfied with the journey instead of working myself up for something I missed, something that might pull me down. Something like the relationship that ended without saying one single bit of word.

In other words, I can whip up a pretty good storm in a glass of water.
I'm weird that way. Maybe because I come from a long line of worriers on one side, and a long line of worry-comatose on the other side. Mixing those genes together made me the person I am - calm in crisis, all worked up over nothing.

So, at the moment, be fine with the fact that I might just be one person to the world - and perhaps one day the world to one person - and not worry in that moment, not hurry though the emotions in that moment, not work myself up till I'm ready to give in, emotionally, keel over, falter in my belief of what I am and where I'm heading.

Did that get too philosophical for you? I'm sorry...

Watch out my next post...

21

It's my 21st birthday today, and it all went over in a very simple yet meaningful manner...

Thanks to Mr. Boon, Miss Vivian, Mr.E and Mr.Patrick and others including Mr. Apple, Mr.Arthur, Mr.Liang, Mr.Tien, including Miss Purple Lynn and Miss Chloe Choo who stayed with me throughout the hour with me on the MSN... xD and so on... Though I can't make it back in Penang, but this is more than enough for me. I'm not asking for any party or big celebrations... A sincere heart along with a wish is perfect for me.

Here's the cake from my beloved fellow friends... I love it, it's simple and delighting!

Well, the celebration was with Patrick on last Thursday, where we went for a movie and buffet and Seoul Garden. Since everyone were too busy with tests and presentations that came like an avalanche... we almost missed Eagle Eyes, which in fact is a good movie. The consequences shown in the movie are all the negative results of technology. After we finished the movie, we went into the elevator and looked at the floor display screen... We wondered if it will say something like 'Happy Birthday, Bowie and Patrick' LMAO. However, we did took some zo-xiao pics...

We saw L at the Mall! Yes! L, from the Death Note, and it was right in front of me...!

LOL... lame =.= I know!
Here's me, Boon and Vivian... cheese and peace...

And when Boon Boon have nothing to say at all...
Vivian: I punched with a smile...
Boon: I grined with a finger...
LMAO

Not much photos were taken on that day, as we were busy watching movies and eating...! Well, flash back, let's take a look what I've been doing back in few days before my birthday...

In the campus...

Pondering at I-Don't-Know-What


With Patrick's web cam... In the laboratory...
'zo xiao'-ing again...

HOLY **** 'kua tiok kui'!


Our class's 'da jie'... cam-whoring along with us, LOL

Boon (L): 'International Sign, when you say nothing at all...'
Me (R): I don't think I know that guy next to me, thank you.

by the way, the 3 little gifts...

Firstly, an RC car from Mr.Patrick... xD I think because I gave him a toy as a present, so this is what I get in return... =P or is it?

2ndly... Boon know I always loved to build the models of Gundams... so this time, the Minis!

Both of them!

Last but not least, some naughty gifts from Mr.Apple, Mr.Tien, Mr Liang, Mr. Arthur and Miss.XinMei...

3 very special condoms... !

thanks guys, but I might not gonna use it for a lil'while... =( if it was back in a year ago... yea =P

so much for the 21st birthday...
thank you to everyone who wished me and celebrated with me...
I love you guys...

peace and out...

BZ Oct...

NO... I WASN'T REALLY RE VISIONING.

One more mid-term's test on Monday... and we are off for our finals.

It's been a busy October...

What I've been up to lately? Well it's nothing more than assignment's...

We are assigned to construct a multistaged audio amp... it looks small on its size, but it's a thousand words to talk about.

Thanks to Mr. Apple...
*zees ishhh oweeeerre meowtystash umpleeflyer....*
LOL
ok it looks crappy but we can't help with that, blame the supplier of the components...!


After the busy morning... it's time for some sports...!
wooooooow.... Prof.E is the PIC (person-in-charged) of the sports complex...!
for enquiries please call Mr.E at 016-6xx7xxx




Well it's been a tired morning for everyone...
Boon Boon showing the international sign again... HELLO THERE.
Mr.E (left) : who's this guy next to me? I don't know him!
xD
*YOU WANT A GAME? BRING IT ON!*

next thing we do is try out Patrick's so-called Crystal-Eye built-in webcam
How does it look anyway? Guys?


LOL. BOON BOON LOOKS GOD DAMN INNOCENT... LMAO
NOW IT'S MR.APPLE'S TURN TO BE INNO...
....
*oh look Bong is walking right pass behind us...*



*IF YOU'RE SHOCKING AND YOU KNOW YOU'LL YELL IT OUT...*
*YELL YELL*
yellers: Boon, Vivian, Me

*HERE I GO... SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT... JUST TRY TO GET TO YOU**applause*
Thank you for witnessing the yellology...

It's been a busy and boring October...
and I just realised my birthday is around the corner.
Happy birthday, me.

cheers.

THE WEEK OF MAD

Next week is gonna be the week of mad... I have 3 papers for sure, 2 presentations at least and I forgot how many quiz are there.

I had 2 sleepless nights...

I'll tell the story later.

Not gonna update my blog in a short period.

SO....
Cheers... and wish me luck.

Here comes my silver glasses...

Did I ever mention that I broke my glasses 2 months ago?
Well it looked like this back then:

The edges of the glasses are broken... people said I looked like I'm crying when I'm wearing the glasses in that shape. Gahhh.

Hehe... it's back.
tada.... =p

that's all for today =_= lame, I KNOW.

It's good to share, though.

Cheers.

Good to see you guys...

Gathered with a few old friends at Old Town today...
It's good to see them after all these years! Firstly, Ann Wei!

See that piles of stuffs she was holding? It's her work of art! Sorry Ann Wei, this pic was taken down unnoticed! =p

Here goes Boon Siang and Ah Bi commenting on AnnWei's pictures...

I forgot to take me and Boon Sheng's pic down! Holy crap...
Well maybe next time.

It's really good to be able to gather with you guys... chatting with you guys cleared my shaded mood.

Just when I realized a lot of people changed, well actually some of them remains the same, which, they are still your friend after all these years. And it's something that you don't wish that it'll change.

Over and out... gonna sleep.

A day with Nicholas

Went to find Nick... it's been 2 months since I last met him. Miss jamming with him though. There he sang... *hold your own...and know your name... and go your own way...* I sang along but I can't help it and took the pic down. LoL. Sorry Nick! XD

plucking and strumming... the flow goes like a beaut...

I had a hard time capturing this pic. I kept yelling 'oi, don't shake lar woi' in order to get a clear shot of this.

After we jammed, we went to Gurney Plaza for a movie... not sure what movie to watch just yet when we reached there. Babylon AD! Well we have absolutely no idea on what movie it is. We know Vin Diesel and the doctor that looks like Gordon Freeman from Half-Life but who in fact was the Merovingian from The Matrix Reloaded. When we entered the cinema, Nick and I yelled: what the hell, is this really GSC? Cuz it's empty!
*well maybe it's week day*
Hell no it's school holiday come on!
*is this the right movie?*
gahhhh... let's take a pic.
This is 'sampat', "I'M IN GSC AND IT'S EMPTY!"
oh, can you guys see Nick? He is on the upper left of the pic. Putting our drinks at our seats.
Here's Nick...
Nick says cheeeeeese... with the Sunkist in his hand.

Well after movie... we went to e-Gate to grab something to eat. It was raining heavily though, and Greenlane's McD was fully-packed.
11.45am... I'm calling it a day. I'm tired.

Sorry if anything that I posted bored u guys, I'm boring, lately, quite, kinda, maybe, definitely. GAAAAAH

I'm back in business!

Hello peeps, sorry for I've been missing too long.

Everything just got way too busy and finally I'm having a break, just 1 week though.

Well, things got busier in university. I almost forgot that own a blog, already!

I received complains that my blog is lack of photos... ok here's some. I picked randomly!

Alone at the parking lot outside the university's sports complex. Well not really alone cuz someone took the photo XD after a few games of badminton and basketball, we are drop-dead tired.



While Arthur is busy talking to his better-half on the phone... well something terrible happened after this, he handed us his cellphone and wallet, told us that he wants to jog a lil for a while. It was almost midnight. He told us that we'll be able to see him on the way out. We've reached the main gate of the campus, and we saw nothing. Took us an hour and a half to look for him. Arthur, do not ever do that again. We can't take the risk.

While I'm trying myself out the cam in...the toilet. What's with the expression? *Where the %@#$% is that Arthur? it's almost 1am larrrr* that time, everyone's face is full of dulan-ness.

Back in day time...
cam-whoring in the laboratory... mirrors everywhere, what the hell.


No, I ain't serious. I done my part and chatting with BoonBoon already. Tien (left) looked up to my table and says:"guys... Please please please I wanna see your result!"

Er... who took this pic? Anyways. Far right to left: Siew Yien, Yung and me.
I don't know what Siew Yien was looking at, but I do know Yung is doing his calculations on the laboratory's result, while I was taking photo...as usual. It was a drop-dead boring lab session.



anyways... nothing big lately. Just the MIA case and... holiday!!!