Monday, September 14, 2009

9 months later...

It's been 9 months since it happened.

And so happens if you were thinking what happened to me 9 months ago... It's available in one of my posts, right HERE.

16th September is her birthday.
22 years ago, her mother gave birth to her at a hospital in Raja Uda, Butterworth.
She's the 2nd child in the family after her elder brother. She's the only daughter.
She was brought up in a very healthy and complete family, loving parents and brother, she's a pampered child in the family, but yet she's got a positive manner and attitudes. She's a very independent girl.

Everything is ok throughout her schooling days. She went into matriculation college after her SPM. She managed to get herself into USM after that.
Right before that, she met a boy that later would became the guy who fell for her. That guy is me =) This is how we got to know each other : After SPM, I was selected for the 3 months National Service Program. I get to know her through the camp as well. The camp we went was called Gardenia Camp in Chang Loon, Kedah. That place is quite rural and urban. It's an abandoned resort, to be precise. She noticed me when I performed for the Night of Culture held in the camp, I was singing Blink 182's I miss You.

The conversation started by complimenting each other about the performances we did, yes she performed on the stage as well, cultural dance ;) we began to talk, until the moment when the night is over and everyone was shoo-ed to bed by the officers. We exchanged numbers and would text each other whenever we have no activities in hand and am staying in at the dorm. We began to see each other more and more frequently as time goes by. I realized I fell for her, and at the last day of the camp, I told her that I would go to her on the next day, she agreed.

She's staying somewhere that is not so far away from where I'm staying. At that moment, I knew that something is going on between us. I wasn't in control of myself, all I know was I confessed to her when I see her, just like that. She did the same, and that's how we got together ;) It was a day to remember, 8th of March '05. right after our SPM result was announced on the 7th.

We were very sweet, everything went on smoothly, she finished her studies in matriculation college and went into USM right after that. I did my diploma and decided to play around a little, found myself a job, worked as a part-time which later became full-time singer in Tao's. I planned to further up in the university, but at that time being, I wasn't really in the mood to drown myself in the books yet.

The days go on and on, until the heart-breaking news that killed the both of us...
A failed car-jacking attempt took her away from me.

Read it to find out more
, the curiosity won't kill you in this case.

I have to admit, it's been 9 months, and I'm still learning how to accept it honestly.
I don't wanna run from it, I'm not avoiding it, I wanna face it, but it's almost like a mission impossible to me.

I think I got over it, but I didn't. Sometimes thinking of it again makes me fall apart.

I'm so used to having her around me that I'm feeling so empty sometimes, even though there are good buddies around me, yet the silence is so loud.

I have to admit that I fell for someone lately ;) I'm not taking her as a 'replacement', make no mistake about that. The feelings are true ;) But it's a rather slow process if you get what I mean.
She's not giving me some very positive signals I have to say, maybe more time is needed? and yet there are some complicated things that are going on on the other side.

I'm still learning...
I'm still empty...
I'm moving on...

=)

life is hard, and that is what makes life meaningful.

3 comments:

Titus said...

I feel sorry for you. That sure is hard to go though and overcome. But I do hope, and am sure you will make it :)

E - L - L - E - N said...

gambateh BowBow !! im still here with you even im attached !! hehe :p

qiqi said...

take care my fren..^^