I am not sure why so many of us center our identity on what we do, rather than who we are. I think who we are becomes tied and steeped into our careers. It's unfortunate, because we place so much undue importance on vocation, and material things, rather than how we treat people, the relationships we keep, the family we love. Shouldn't the latter be more pivotal to our happiness? And to our identity? For whatever reason, I think we tend to believe we are nothing unless we have a stable career, or are at least fulfilling and achieving something, anything, everyday.
I have thought about this a lot with our current economic recession, and the unbelievable amount of jobs that have been lost. Of course it affects anyone who has been laid off -- men, women, fresh out of college 20-somethings -- but I have to think that it must be especially difficult for the breadwinners of the families. Obviously it's rough because this person is the one who brings in most of the income, and without that necessary money, the entire family suffers, but what about that person's identity and self-esteem? Their role in the family, and in life, has been to provide. What happens with (s)he is no longer able to do that? Won't that person begin to feel depressed, confused, and ultimately, a bit worthless? Of course, they are not worthless - they are still the same person they were before they lost their job; our core characters and personalities, while they may always shift a little, remain relatively the same. But it is no longer possible for that individual to fulfill the duty of providing, and monetarily caring for the family.
I am not the breadwinner of my family, quite the contrary. I don't even have a family of my own yet, which is a good thing since it's been difficult just to keep myself afloat with the part-time job's income because I'm just a student, and for a 22 years old adult who is not financially independent, YET. As a student, I have struggled with self-confidence issues in terms of being financially stable and independent, I am still relying on my family's financial support. I'm imagining the future-me working away from home and how things might flow (on the bright side): I am making enough to survive. I am able to pay my rent, utility and grocery bills, etc. I even have some extra change for things like gym membership and happy hours with friends. But as the years progressed, and if thing (still) goes wrong (e.g.: recession), the rent grew steeper, and I lost my job, and I might live an unstable life of freelance while keep sending out my resumes everyday, all that changed. Every month will be a struggle. Since I already pay for a gym membership, I just utilize the equipment and classes there. Lesser, or maybe even no more happy hours with friends. With that, I've made huge changes to my lifestyle to accommodate my lack of funds, and I suspect, as the months roll on, I will continue to downgrade.
But here's the thing: this lack of money, and adequate work, might be killing me mentally. The adequate requirements will just make me even more inadequate, and in the end I might be buried under the avalanche of my own inadequacies. I'll just feel like a giant waste of space. I often forget to take stock of the reasons why I'm an important member of society (like, I aim to treat everyone kindly and with respect and I smile at strangers in the hopes of bettering their days) and focus on all the reasons why I'm purposeless.
It's terrible, I know. But please don't think I'm not doing anything about it; Though I am still a student, and am going to be a student years to come, I'm not sitting here, flipping books in a sulk and hanging out with friends all day and night. I am job hunting. Searching for something that's part-time or temporary. It doesn't matter. I just need more constant work to do -- to accomplish -- and a paycheck. I have been searching for tutor positions for entry-level studies, and non-profits. I'm hoping to find something related to music (e.g.: piano lessons or part-timers of live band in pubs?). I'm also looking in the environmental technology industry. I know I'm not qualified for much there, but it helps alot in the future when I'm working in my dad's any firm-of-choice. Thanks dad for talking me into how my field of studies is related with environmental technology's implementation. In the end, I just want to interact with and help people live healthier, happier lives.
It's hard to have so many goals, also, but not really know where to start. Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever feel frozen by your endless goals? I have so many things I want to accomplish in life that I tend to find myself stuck, and overwhelmed, before I even begin. How do you counteract this? I know the answer is simple: just do. But for some reason, it doesn't feel so easy.
I have thought about this a lot with our current economic recession, and the unbelievable amount of jobs that have been lost. Of course it affects anyone who has been laid off -- men, women, fresh out of college 20-somethings -- but I have to think that it must be especially difficult for the breadwinners of the families. Obviously it's rough because this person is the one who brings in most of the income, and without that necessary money, the entire family suffers, but what about that person's identity and self-esteem? Their role in the family, and in life, has been to provide. What happens with (s)he is no longer able to do that? Won't that person begin to feel depressed, confused, and ultimately, a bit worthless? Of course, they are not worthless - they are still the same person they were before they lost their job; our core characters and personalities, while they may always shift a little, remain relatively the same. But it is no longer possible for that individual to fulfill the duty of providing, and monetarily caring for the family.
I am not the breadwinner of my family, quite the contrary. I don't even have a family of my own yet, which is a good thing since it's been difficult just to keep myself afloat with the part-time job's income because I'm just a student, and for a 22 years old adult who is not financially independent, YET. As a student, I have struggled with self-confidence issues in terms of being financially stable and independent, I am still relying on my family's financial support. I'm imagining the future-me working away from home and how things might flow (on the bright side): I am making enough to survive. I am able to pay my rent, utility and grocery bills, etc. I even have some extra change for things like gym membership and happy hours with friends. But as the years progressed, and if thing (still) goes wrong (e.g.: recession), the rent grew steeper, and I lost my job, and I might live an unstable life of freelance while keep sending out my resumes everyday, all that changed. Every month will be a struggle. Since I already pay for a gym membership, I just utilize the equipment and classes there. Lesser, or maybe even no more happy hours with friends. With that, I've made huge changes to my lifestyle to accommodate my lack of funds, and I suspect, as the months roll on, I will continue to downgrade.
But here's the thing: this lack of money, and adequate work, might be killing me mentally. The adequate requirements will just make me even more inadequate, and in the end I might be buried under the avalanche of my own inadequacies. I'll just feel like a giant waste of space. I often forget to take stock of the reasons why I'm an important member of society (like, I aim to treat everyone kindly and with respect and I smile at strangers in the hopes of bettering their days) and focus on all the reasons why I'm purposeless.
It's terrible, I know. But please don't think I'm not doing anything about it; Though I am still a student, and am going to be a student years to come, I'm not sitting here, flipping books in a sulk and hanging out with friends all day and night. I am job hunting. Searching for something that's part-time or temporary. It doesn't matter. I just need more constant work to do -- to accomplish -- and a paycheck. I have been searching for tutor positions for entry-level studies, and non-profits. I'm hoping to find something related to music (e.g.: piano lessons or part-timers of live band in pubs?). I'm also looking in the environmental technology industry. I know I'm not qualified for much there, but it helps alot in the future when I'm working in my dad's any firm-of-choice. Thanks dad for talking me into how my field of studies is related with environmental technology's implementation. In the end, I just want to interact with and help people live healthier, happier lives.
It's hard to have so many goals, also, but not really know where to start. Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever feel frozen by your endless goals? I have so many things I want to accomplish in life that I tend to find myself stuck, and overwhelmed, before I even begin. How do you counteract this? I know the answer is simple: just do. But for some reason, it doesn't feel so easy.
It is not easy. In fact, I already know where to start, I just need more time to understand why I want to start things up that way.
Have you noticed people struggling with their identities as we roll deeper into recession?
Have you noticed people struggling with their identities as we roll deeper into recession?
Fetching thoughts of view, people!
And for those who are on the same boat with me, I say to you:
Go with the flow,
Stay low as you go,
Aim high for your goal,
Obstacles come and go,
Your goal remains whole,
You reached your goal,
then you're as good as gold.
Cheerio.
2 comments:
I guess people tend to reflect on themselves when times go bad. Just to find out what went wrong. and that's where the mind gets confused.
i think it's better to have goals than to have none at all. But in the midst of it, take time to slow down, to notice those who need you, and to lend a helping hand. Many a time, ppl are just too caught up in their business that we just pass life by without grasping the true meaning of it.
PS: i think everyone has identity issues but as we grow, we learn and it becomes a part of us? not too sure bout that cuz im still struggling with my own identity. haha :P
Post a Comment