What's love got to do with it anyway?

Someone asked me how you can be in a two year relationship without ever falling in love.

It’s simple, really. Very simple.

There are tons of reasons why people are in relationships that transcend love. Or never reach to the ankles of love, should I say. I’m not going to list them all, because that would be redundant and a complete waste of internet space (yes, that too can run out at some point).

When you care for someone, like them, see them as your best friend – it is easy to confuse that for long enough to get used to being together. I believe a lot of people stay together for the simple reason of being used to having someone to come home to.

For a lot, being with someone beats being alone. Never mind that someone might not be someone for them, someone they love. Or maybe then do.

But being comfortable and being used to being together is the main issue.

“Marriage of convenience”, one could say. I scratch your back, you’ll scratch mine. No man is an island and all that crap. Because when it boils down to it, everybody needs someone else at some point in time. May it be for emotional, physical or purely financial reasons. Tax cuts. Not sleeping alone. A hand to hold in public.

It’s easy to be together without being in love.

It’s easy to have a relationship without having love. Not all of us have to choose, but some do. And some choose just because they want to.

And trust me – where there’s no heart, there’s no complications. Or at least a hell lot less. Clean slates. No heart – no heart ache.

So yes, my longest relationship has been for two years. I really, really cared for her. My second longest relationship was almost a year. I was almost in love. Almost.

But no, I’ve never been in love.

It’s simpler that way. Less messy. Clean slates. Clean cuts.


…and I do like my life tidy.